Tuesday, 15 January 2013


Standing in a blackened forest which stretches for as far as the eye can see, I have the strange sensation that I'm suddenly going to fly off somewhere and do something awful. Next thing I've shot off across the dark tree tops at a terrible speed. Taking an abrupt dive straight into the jagged mouth of a cave and winding far down deep into the Earth I swiftly arrive at the gates of hell. Once there, I know what I have to do - open these Gaddamned gates and release something good and shitty on the generation of swine inhabiting the Planet. I am a little apprehensive and decide to only open them for an hour. Using my incredibly powerful psychic brain I manage to open the hell portal; I feel horrified and excited and I know this is very naughty. Out of the reddish brown rock a grim little demon face appears and I start to feel like shitting myself - there is the sense of something unfeeling and massively violent behind me. Whipping around like maddened dog, I am faced with a naked Anne Hathaway with a ugly looking strap-on dildo dangling between her legs. She has mean, sexy eyes but I feel no fear; just a sexually confused awkwardness, like a dumb teenager. Those mean, sexy eyes shoot straight past me and fix upon the half-crazed, fully nude demon-girl who has also appeared in the hot, dusty cave. Demon Anne Hathaway wastes no time and is soon pumping the Demon girl senseless with her swarthy strap-on and although the sex is vicious and Satanic, the tenderness between the two is obvious. The Demon girl asks to reduce the size of the strap-on and Anne does so immediately, psychotelekenetically. The two writhe on the ground in ecstasy and the cave becomes unbearably hot with sticky heat, sweat and pure Satanic lust - salt stings my eyes but I can't turn away, yet at no point do I feel I can join in. I stand there awkwardly aware of the fact that Demon Anne Hathaway is doing a far better job than I ever could in twenty thousand life times of sexual experience. I am small in both mind and penis. The two Demons pay me no heed, their screams of pleasure of deafening and shrinking me mentally and physically. The strap-on plunges in and out non-stop and it has started glowing red with a furious heat - the Demon girl's orgasm is powerful: a torrent of Demonic juices. They have finished and lay in a panting pile. I start to realise how inconsequential my every action is, life is worthless and I am less than a fart. They start to laugh and vapourise - the portal has been open for an hour and they are vanishing back to their own dimension. I turn away, rest my forehead against the cave wall and start to cry. No one is here now and I am despondent and desperately alone. I paid the price for opening the gates of hell, I have been made to feel utterly non-existent by Anne Hathaway and her strap-on. I have experienced Hell and now I have a long walk home.

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